He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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