So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
