I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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