Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Please don't give away my fajitas
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