yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
