I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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