Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
