Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
