Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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