I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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