yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
