there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
