Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
