1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
wow bdsm is so cute
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