we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
