apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
