I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
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