you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize