What a fucking waste of an outfit
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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