But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
