big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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