Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
