Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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