8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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