Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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