i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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