i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
