Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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