My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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