Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
