New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
