You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
