i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
