Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
