I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
