She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
