susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
foreskin is a definite game changer
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize