I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This baby is an asshole
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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