Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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