if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize