I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
