Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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