It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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