She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize