After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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