The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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