The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
