He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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