If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
