just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You left your phone here
Wait...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize