D3 body, D1 cock
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
