just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
