Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
