He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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