My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
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