I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
