Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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