Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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