I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
