You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
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