Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
