I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
