Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
