rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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