I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
