I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
