How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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